


As If All The Stars Will Laugh

by patster223



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Friendship, Grief, Post-The Eleventh Hour, Will I ever get to write a TAZ fic without having to use that tag, spoilers for episode 48
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:25:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7998523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patster223/pseuds/patster223
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus keeps dreaming of Julia after The Eleventh Hour. Thankfully, Taako and Merle are there to pick him back up again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As If All The Stars Will Laugh

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for episode 48. Written because I love Magnus Burnsides with all my heart. The title is loosely based off of a passage from Le Petit Prince.

Magnus has lost count of how many times he’s had this dream. He knows its trappings as well as his own ax, his own fists, his own shield and spear. But there’s a reason that Magnus never put much stock in intelligence modifiers—because the _knowing_ doesn’t help. It doesn’t make seeing Raven’s Roost burn any easier to bear.

“Julia!” Magnus cries. He runs toward the base of his desolate village to search for survivors. Surely _someone_ survived the fall; most folks around here would have had a feather fall of some sort. After all, while they’d built fences around the Roost, that didn’t mean it was impossible to fall off. Magnus remembers how an animal would occasionally stumble through the fence without even knowing it: how they’d fall to the ground terrified and screeching.

Was that what it was like for her when she fell?

Magnus’ hands bleed as he sifts through the rubble. The bomb reduced their village—their _home_ —to mere splinters, but surely _she_ remains. Maybe she was visiting a friend on another platform that day; maybe she’d gone to the shops early. It doesn’t matter that those versions of the story aren’t true—it doesn’t matter that she _always_ spent the morning with Steven at The Hammer and Tongs. The illogic of these stories still makes more sense than Julia being gone.

Magnus tries to bend over and examine the debris, but he can’t with this stupid chair on his back. He rips it off of himself with nearly enough force to break it and—fuck, maybe _that’s_ what he needs. To hit something, to destroy _anything_ that stopped him from protecting her—

But before he can do a thing, he feels a hand on his shoulder. When he turns around, there she is: the most beautiful woman that Magnus has ever seen.

“Don’t do that—I _like_ that chair,” Julia tells him.

“I…” For a moment, Magnus is frozen in place. He’s never dreamt this part before. _God_ , it's like revisiting that memory with the chalice all over again. It takes everything Magnus has not to fall to his knees right there; and it takes several clearings of the throat before he can even speak.

“I built it for you,” Magnus says honestly.

“I know.”

Magnus places the chair on the ground. Julia sits, and Magnus kneels beside her. Even with Julia in the chair, they’re still eye-to-eye.

“This thing still smells like grandmas,” Julia teases. She reaches out to touch Magnus’ face, her fingers brushing up against bushier, grayer sideburns. Her hands move down his scarred body until they find his Bureau of Balance bracer. “And so do you, actually.”

Magnus chokes out a laugh. “Yeah, I travel with a nature cleric now—he smells like weird plants and stuff.”

“A nature cleric, huh? Imagine that. You’ve always attracted the most fascinating people, Mag.”

“You—you were always the most fascinating.”

“Well, that goes without saying,” Julia says, her grin sharp, but—so tired. A moment later, she rests her head against his shoulder. Magnus wraps his arms around her. This isn’t real, but he still wraps his arms around her.

“I really do love you, Jules,” Magnus whispers.

“I kn-”

Roaring static interrupts her words as it floods Magnus’ mind. He loses his grip on Julia as he doubles over and presses his hands over his ears just to make it _stop_.

Maybe the sound goes on for an eon; maybe it only lasts as long as it takes for someone to sip from a cup. But when Magnus comes to his senses, Julia is gone and Magnus now leans against an empty chair.

“Julia!” Magnus screams. He scrambles to get up, to find her again, to _save_ her—

And then he wakes up. As he opens his eyes, Magnus half expects himself to be in their tiny room in the attic of The Hammer and Tongs, but—it’s only his Bureau quarters. When Magnus turns his head, Steven the fish peers curiously at him from the bedside table.

Magnus had been so _proud_ when they’d earned these private quarters. But right now, the size of his room just makes it feel cold and empty.

Magnus runs a hand through his hair and sighs. He thinks about going back to sleep for only a moment before giving it up as a lost cause. Instead, he makes his way toward the common area—only to find Taako there, levitating lazily outside Magnus' door.

“Taako?”

Taako’s eyes are closed, but he cracks one open when Magnus says his name. Taako looks him up and down, yawns, and says, “Was wondering when you’d come out. Another bad dream there, ruff boi?”

Magnus shifts where he stands. He knows that Taako doesn’t really sleep—that he can probably _always_ hear Magnus crying out from that nightmare—but he’d never had confirmation of that fact before now.

“Were—were you just waiting out here for me to wake up?” Magnus asks.

“Well, I wasn’t about to go inside your _room_ and wait,” Taako says, as if the statement were obvious. “You think I’m going to startle the guy with an _ax_ by his bed? Nooo. I mean, don’t even flip, I could fireball you before you could do a thing-”

“Actually, these footie pajamas have a higher AC than you’d think, so-”

“But the whole thing sounds like a lot of work,” Taako says. He taps his umbrella on the floor and peers intently at Magnus. “And I don’t do work _or_ involve myself in drama…unless you need me to. You need me, Magnus?”

“I…” Magnus clutches at the fabric of his pants. This is ridiculous. He has to stay strong: for Taako, for Merle, for the Bureau. He’d always been able to do that before—before that stupid _cup._ But now…

He can still feel her in his arms. He can still hear her voice. He can still smell lavender.

“Yeah,” Magnus manages. “Yeah, I think I do.”

“And let me guess,” a voice says from behind them, “you probably need a bit of good ol’ Merle too.”

Magnus and Taako both jump—as much as Taako _can_ jump while levitating—as they turn to see Merle leaning against the door of his room. 

In that moment, Magnus realizes just how thoroughly the chalice’s icy thrall had wormed itself into their thoughts. After all, Merle’s been known to sleep through Taako’s weekly routine of exploding _furniture_ to give Magnus wood with which to whittle. He must _really_ not be sleeping well if they’d managed to wake him up.

Taako adjusts his wizard hat with a huff. “Don’t sneak up on us like that—I don’t even know how you _did_ that, your stealth modifier is shit!”

“Yeah, sneaking is kind of my job,” Magnus says. “Sneaking and fighting: sort of the main things I’ve got going on. I mean, I multi-classed for it and everything.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Merle says, rolling his eyes. “Look, are we doing the gooey emotional support shit or not? Because I’ve got a nice onion waiting for me in bed-”

“ _Okay,_ yes, emotional support please!” Taako says. “Literally anything but you talking about your _plants_ again!”

They leave their dome and walk onto the quad. It’s sparse at this time of night. Merle shoots his tree arm down walking paths to try and scare off stray Bureau members. Taako annoys the remaining ones away when he loudly points out ridiculous constellations that Magnus is pretty sure are made up. Magnus doesn’t need to do a thing; he mostly just laughs.

As they walk through the emptying quad, they eventually begin to talk. They talk about the open road, beaches, and Raven’s Roost; traitorous stage hands, uncaring ex-wives, and mad tyrants; aunts, fathers—and Julia. They talk about everything they can find that’s not laden in static. They talk about themselves, the moon, the earth below: and everything in between.

 


End file.
